The Long Hypothesized and, Quite Frankly, Spectacularly Overrated End of Life On Earth

You are John Hopper, an intrepid space-faring office manager. Day-to-day, your job usually entails procuring printer paper and planning employee birthday parties. One day, however, as your employers navigate the ship through the holy lands of the space-cultists of Usurpuron-7, religious zealots board your vessel to kill all those on board who have defiled the monuments to Akhr'a'ghlacha'nach'ra'glach

Interrupted in the middle of getting dressed for the day, you must fight your way through the ship, defending it and your coworkers wearing nothing but your socks and a space helmet. As you fight further along, you learn more about the nefarious ends of your attackers,. Can you defeat them all before it's too late for the ship? Before it's too late... for the earth?

Controls:

Arrow keys: move

Space: Jump

E: Use things

Left Ctrl: Shoot